Amnesia

Mygosh! It's been a long time i havent updated anything here eh? Yeayea those school works, projects, exams, yadayadayada have made me quite a bit, retarded. yeah. like there's not even just one day without homework, or test, and ive been haunted by these projects, film project, book project, novelet project, grrrr. and in a week im gonna have final exams! Plus afterschool lesson, monday, wednesday, 2 on thursday, and SUNDAY. hm. what a 12graders polemic. wow. TIME FLIES. fuckin fast. and i need a holidaaaaaaaaaay! Feels like it was just yesterday we stepped to the 12thgrade, but it turned out that it's been almost 6months. and in no time we're gonna have university entrance tests, final examination, and in eine Augenblick will be entering the gates of universities! (hopefully. Amen!) i feel like riding on a rollercoaster. fast and furious.

well anyway, what have been happening to me lately? too much i guess. and too overwhelming. but i guess im just gonna tell you the whole big picture. my life, has been in the zero point lately i guess. ZERO POINT. yeah. like you dont feel happy in whatever you do? i got 100 in english or german or 90 for math or wtv, i go out and have fun with my friends, i make my self busy with this and that but somehow i still feel thoughts tangling in my mind. i really dont know whats happening on me -__- hilfe mir bitte!!!

and oh, those feelings. to hell with it. but fuck, i cant. i know its been so long. but, i just cant. I wanna ask God to give me amnesia, but oh well:'( it keep on flying across my mind, and even haunting me down to my dream. i admit that, what ive been doing is just running away from the truth. but how can i face the truth if it is just so painful? knowing that those days have gone by, i have nothing to do with it anymore. all i gotta do is to put everything about it aside. but now all i have left is this regret. and this regret i have is haunting me down, swallowing me, sinking me deep down to the bottom. i know, emo -.-. but that's what i feel, so fuck you who says that im emo. wtv you say wont make any difference anyway. well these thoughts are welling up inside me, sooner or later, im gonna puke. i guess amnesia can help me. I wish by God you'd stay out of my mind. my life. my dream. Now that youve got your life back, i hope you enjoy it.

in the other hand............................. i've got my life back. ( well, a bit.) hahaha. dont worry, i still can find cheers in my friends' laughter, smile, and stupidities.

i guess that's all i can say,
Tami.